...

This article is very personal to me, so it won't have any flashy colors or cool elements. Just unfiltered speech.

---

At this point, I'm stuck in a very unfortunate limbo (at the time of writing this I’m 13, turning 14 next month).

My innocence is long gone and I feel as if I’m too old to be carefree and oblivious.

On the other hand, I’m too young to socialize with the people I want to be around. The age gap is always too big and people get uncomfortable around me online.

I really wish it didn’t have to suck this bad. I know I won’t be stuck in this position forever, but I wish I could have one or the other, instead of being stuck in between.

I’m going into high school next year and will have even less free time than I already do, and I’m going to get a job some time this year. Maybe I’ll be able to afford a car while I’m still in high school.

I know too much, and I know so little, so why must it hurt when I think too hard? I don’t even know if I’m even capable of doing what I want in life.

Have a wife? Have kids? Or even just a girlfriend to care about, it all seems infeasible.

Too mature, too immature.

Too smart, not smart enough.

Too loud, too quiet.

Too strong, too weak.

I can’t find my people.

I feel like I’m trapped.